problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
