I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
