Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
