can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize