I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
