i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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