you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
