The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
