come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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