We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
