I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
