Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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