Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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