I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
