we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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