Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
