So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
