Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Even my vagina gasped.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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