I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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