bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
