good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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