i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
