I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
