The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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