i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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