I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
