Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
