I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
