i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
