Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What a dumb baby whore.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
