But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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