You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
