FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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