It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize