Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
