you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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