I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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