Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
