Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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