yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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