She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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