I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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