He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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