every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
