We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
