My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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