Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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