All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
