i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
