Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
