i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When did angry sex become our thing?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
