My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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