Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize