he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
