as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
