I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
