I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
